elusive joy

I was so happy.
 Excited that my life could
take a turn
for the romantic, the fun, the adventure.

That was one brief window of time.

my superpower

For many years, essentially since I passed from being a young woman to a middle aged woman, I have lamented being the invisible woman. When I was younger I was noticed, listened to, admired, befriended, believed myself to be seen as pretty even. Then I started aging. It's natural I know and I turned 40 celebrating that I was at a weight I could manage and appreciate, I had a career I enjoyed and a family I loved. At 20 I really didn't have any idea what 40 would look like, I just knew what I did not want it to look like; my mother.

This July I will turn 57. I am no longer noticed, admired, or pretty. Even my husband is no longer attracted to me. I am still the same person I was at 20 and 40. I still have a good career with a job I actually enjoy. My weight remains steady, healthy and a solid size 8/10. I run 5 to 10 miles at a time. I am healthy. And I am invisible. People don't remember that they have met me. Don't recall my name. Can't place where they have seen me before. This happens frequently! For the last 10 years or so it has become increasingly annoying to me.

Today, however, I read something very interesting.

So, it seems I have a superpower! Ha! I pledge to continue to use my invisibility for good and not evil. And now I shall attempt to perceive my invisibility as a superpower and not an annoyance, rejection or humiliation. Perception is everything, they say. So here's to all of the women in their 50's and 60's that are no longer looked at, remembered, admired or valued. We have superpowers! 

Marvelous spring!

What a marvelous time of the year spring is. I usually celebrate the autumn season as the crowning glory of the Lord's creation and no doubt I will again come fall. This spring is competing well! The colors, the sounds, the smells!

While on my early morning run, I watched a flock of bright yellow goldfinches flitting from tree to tree. I have never seen such a thing. They landed in the damp grass in search of what I do not know. And the chubby robins dancing with each other in delight of their season for love. How fun to observe and sense their joy.

Have you noticed the aroma of the blooming russian olive trees and honeysuckle vines already this April? Mmmmmm, heavenly.

Crimson red tulips, deep purple irises, bright white dogwoods, happy yellow forsythias. Autumn is going to have quite the challenge to win most glorious season of the year in 2016!

                          And here is my small effort at capturing spring beauty on paper.

Take some time to listen, smell and observe this beautiful spring day. Your heart will rejoice!

drowning

What good can come.

Isolation day after day.

My pulsing wrist proclaims my name.

Day after day, alone among so many.

How can this be, this loneliness?

This sadness and drowning.

One more glass of wine.

Let sleep be my rest.

kindness does matter

In living a life for Jesus, provided by Jesus, and in love with Jesus, I have a priority to live a life as much like Jesus as I can. Unfortunately, that is not always the way I live. Like Paul, the things I want to do, I don't and the things I don't want to do, I do.

But kindness does matter.

And respectfulness does matter, even when I do not feel the person is respectable or kind, my aim at living for and like Jesus tells me to behave kindly and respectfully.

Yesterday at work there was a big old ex professional football player who was a patient on my hospital floor. Not my patient, but I did respond to his call light, an emergency light alarming due to fall risk. He was rude, mean, threatening, sarcastic and oppositional. At first I tried to reason with him. Then I recognized my abusive step father in him. I walked away. Much later I had to respond once again to his light. Putting aside my emotions I attempted to figure out how to reply to his obvious disrespect and crudeness. Then I walked away.

My feelings were not kind, my thoughts were not kind, but my actions and words were respectful. To a very unrespectable unkind bully.

Yesterday I saw instagram posts of a protest against a political decision. Nighttime visual of a young boy watching the flashing lights of police cars trying to maintain safety at a political protest he could not possibly understand. And then a picture of this child urinating on the Governor's mansion lawn, in public, at night, with a political protest going on around him. Just the photos were disturbing but in addition the comments linked with the photos were angry and lacking respect for opposing beliefs and different ideas, other people.

We really are all in this one world together. And there really are a billion multitude of differing ideals, values and opinions. It is my belief that we can behave differently, believe differently and live differently.... in love.

Yesterday a young lady I was working with read an invitation to Easter service that was with many other copies of this laying on a break room table. She tossed it down and said "at least that was a little nicer than the last flyer I read calling me a sinner destined for hell."

People, we will not positively impact others with disrespect, bullying and anger. When was the last time someone insulted your opinion, belittled your understanding or demeaned your abilities and you wanted to follow them and hear more?

Humans, like most species, migrate towards similarity, familiarity and safe environments. Humans want to share their lives with others and not feel threatened. Humans have a deep, innate need for connection and love. It is my belief that when I offer others that type of environment then I will be heard more clearly. I may not be treated with respect and kindness but I will be true to my beliefs and values and rise above hatred and anger while doing my best to pour out love and mercy and grace. Help me Lord.

So many stamps, so little time!

Lately, I have been having so much fun practicing new techniques and playing with ink and yupo paper. Alas, as I say "practicing" I mean learning and so I have nothing noteworthy or publishable. YET!! But I'm getting there!

So, instead I will show you some creations I like. Let me know if you do, too! New stamps from different companies. There are way more people making stamps out there than what I knew! I love love love online stamp shopping!

This one is using stamps from Stampin' Up! 

And this little pretty is a stamp from Saturated Canary, online digital stamp. Cute!!

Spring flowers! This pretty stamp set is from Unity Stamp Co.

So, if you are a stamp lover like me, check out these companies and see for yourself. Variety! Choices! Cute, pretty, avante garde, vintage... something for everyone.

Leave a comment and let me know your favorite stamp or card style and I will post one of my creations in that style.

Thanks for looking and reading. Hope you have a great evening.

Sunday Sunday

Oh how I love Sundays!

 Some Sundays I have to work. Sunday is almost always the best day of the week to work. No administration lurking around the corners. Rare surgeries to deal with. Only occassional discharges and admissions. Just taking care of sick people, which is my favorite thing to do at work.

This Sunday, however, I am not working. I am enjoying the day God created. Started off with a run at the park, 5 miles with cool sunny skies. Then a quick change of clothes for early service and singing beautiful music to Jesus. Adam Robertson spoke about types of love including God's amazing, agape love. Love that never fails and is full of daily, hourly, minute by minute, grace and mercy. That's what God's love is to me. Constant, never ending and always, always with me. Fills me up. Makes me peaceful.  Gives me hope.

And it's a love He has for EVERYONE! I so appreciate that fact. Every single person has the same opportunity to experience the love of God. That knowledge makes me happy.

Lately, I've been expressing my creativity making cards again. Loving the Unity Stamp Co. stamps.  www.unitystampco.com  Coloring with alcohol markers and cutting up gorgeous paper. Tying pretty ribbons and stamping texture images.

I love this girl so much. so much. and the statement. so much.

 This chica is so beautiful.

And another great sentiment with a lovely, young lady. 

Unity Stamp Co. has so many great stamps. And they always add something free to your order! 

Yeah, I have my next wishlist started already! 

Well, thank you for sharing Sunday with me! Hope yours is equally relaxing and full of love. 

Sweet 10K on a cold Tuesday morning

Some mornings it's hard to roll out of bed. Today was NOT one of those. For some reason, at about 5:55 AM my eyes popped open and I climbed out from under my cozy, warm covers and headed straight for my running gear.

 Love when that happens! No arguing with myself. No inner voice tempting me with fifteen more minutes of sleep. No bribing myself with some forbidden treat later. Nope. On went the pink Stephens College hoodie and my turquoise New Balance shoes and out I went, down to the park, sweet talking my tired old muscles into believing it'll be OK, just 3 miles.

Nope. Some days after I plug out the first couple miles I gradually feel better and better rather than more and more tired. So I set my goal at a 10K. Sweet. My fitbit tells me success was mine at 6.44 miles in 38 degrees at 07:13. 

Ahh. I just love to start my day like this. Great run, home to a hot cup of coffee, banana greek yogurt, homemade cinnamon bread and the internet.

Now onto lighting up my creativity up with some cute, new Stampin' Up! stamps and Hillsong music.

This is a quick little card I made with the "Beautiful Ride" stamp set from SU.Gotta love a love bug.
Hope you have the opportunity to enjoy your day with some good company!

color color color, you can never have too much color!

                Oh jeez, I need more alcohol markers! I need more colors. To say I have the major color groupings, well, maybe. But there are so so so many colors and colors make me smile.

                Remember the Harry Chapin song "there are so many colors in the rainbow, so many colors in the morning sun, so many colors in a flower and I see every one".

               Take the time to look at a cloud, it's not white and gray. So many reflections! Look at a black shiny teakettle. There is blue, purple and yellow. See that green leaf? You don't see it until you see the yellows and browns and muaves.

                       I made this for my best friend. There are many more colors than red and green going on here! Doesn't this card just make you happy?

                      Here's to hoping you see something like you never have before. New colors. New eyes.

guarding your heart

you don't know what you've got til it's gone.

we've all heard that.

listen up friends. guard your sweet, tender,  loving heart.

i wanted it to be real. so real. so so forever.

 no one knows what lies in the heart of a person. not even our own heart.
 our own susceptible, longing, lonely hearts.

waiting on the love that heals. waiting on Jesus.