So....I survived one of the most horrible bad awful days I've ever had. Thank you LeeAllie.
Sometimes the things we know are best for the people we love hurt us really deeply. That happened to me, ummmm, again. Another of my children moved out of state. A good thing. but painful beyond what I can describe.
It was a horrible bad awful day. The crying was soul wrenching. gut tearing. stopping and starting again. thought I was done. triggers set me off again. so so alone now.
How is it that even knowing it is such a blessing for my son and his wife, knowing each of my kids that I love beyond understanding are where they not only should be but in a great situation with the loves of their lives, how is this separation so painful that I want to.... well I'll not even go there.
The thing is I survived. Like running that extra mile or two. Like staying at work when you feel you can't. Like getting up in the middle of the night when you are beyond exhausted. But not quite like any of that. More like vomiting and dry heaves and fever and laying on the cold tile floor praying the sickness will pass.
And now. Survival isn't enough is it. Survival isn't enough. Moving forward. Pastor Ron talked about it today. 2013. Moving forward to a better tomorrow. Praying for wisdom to know the direction to a better tomorrow.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
My sweet superbaby grandson.
Just wait until you see the painting my talented daughter in law Brooke did of this superbaby photo. It is amazing!! Soon as I get back home to download a photo of it I shall share. In the mean time...
take a look at that gorgeous smile! My grandson is one juicy sweet peach!
trying trying trying not to be down today.
Well, it is Christmas day and I was so optimistic that my out look two days ago would hold. So hopeful that the great days I had on the 14th and 15th would overshadow the emptiness of today. Guess not.
Ran my 5 miles in wind chill temps of 10 to 15 degrees. Ouch. Oh my lungs. But I persevered. My coping mechanism at its best. baked some Pillsbury cinnamon rolls. comfort food. napped. before noon. not looking good at that point for positivity.
Spending the night tonight at my son's empty apartment. Grateful not to have to deal with the weather. This is weird.
I feel determination building.
Moving toward a better tomorrow. More love. More authenticity. 2013.
Ran my 5 miles in wind chill temps of 10 to 15 degrees. Ouch. Oh my lungs. But I persevered. My coping mechanism at its best. baked some Pillsbury cinnamon rolls. comfort food. napped. before noon. not looking good at that point for positivity.
Spending the night tonight at my son's empty apartment. Grateful not to have to deal with the weather. This is weird.
I feel determination building.
Moving toward a better tomorrow. More love. More authenticity. 2013.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
It's the most wonderful time of the year?
Well, that's what they say. The most wonderful time of the year. I'm pretty sure we Americans have been buying into and promoting the unachievable hype for the last hundred years or so.
Why are we dreaming of a white Christmas, for instance? Not because that's how Jesus started out.
Why do we insist on spending too much money on too many gifts our families don't need? Not because of our faith or religious beliefs.
Why do we get depressed when the holidays are all over and our bloated expectations are deflated while our bloated bellies are not? Not because we look forward to disappointment.
This year our family came together to celebrate my son's graduation and Christmas on the 14th and 15th rather than the 25th. Because of this earlier date all my last minute shopping was eliminated. Ran out of time. Overspending on presents far decreased but more planning went into the gifts. And the stress and panic of getting Christmas day "perfect" was not there, just because we held it on a different day, an earlier day and I looked at things a little differently. This year my focus was on having my little family together (including new grandson!). I can't remember enjoying a brunch with my immediate family, the chaos of 17 people for Christmas dinner or after dinner games and visiting more than I did this year.
And today, 2 days before so many will be celebrating their Christmas I am relaxing, grateful there is no stressful holiday approaching and I'm dreaming of a way to make my future Christmases more about love and kindness and less about what the retailers, movies and hallmark cards have imposed on our Christmas season.
Why are we dreaming of a white Christmas, for instance? Not because that's how Jesus started out.
Why do we insist on spending too much money on too many gifts our families don't need? Not because of our faith or religious beliefs.
Why do we get depressed when the holidays are all over and our bloated expectations are deflated while our bloated bellies are not? Not because we look forward to disappointment.
This year our family came together to celebrate my son's graduation and Christmas on the 14th and 15th rather than the 25th. Because of this earlier date all my last minute shopping was eliminated. Ran out of time. Overspending on presents far decreased but more planning went into the gifts. And the stress and panic of getting Christmas day "perfect" was not there, just because we held it on a different day, an earlier day and I looked at things a little differently. This year my focus was on having my little family together (including new grandson!). I can't remember enjoying a brunch with my immediate family, the chaos of 17 people for Christmas dinner or after dinner games and visiting more than I did this year.
And today, 2 days before so many will be celebrating their Christmas I am relaxing, grateful there is no stressful holiday approaching and I'm dreaming of a way to make my future Christmases more about love and kindness and less about what the retailers, movies and hallmark cards have imposed on our Christmas season.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Opting out
Today is black Friday and I have decided to avoid the madness. Over the past couple of years I have become more aware of the need to support small businesses. Considering myself a small, even micro, businesswoman, I understand the need for people to look beyond the cheapest price and loudest hype and see those of us trying to make it on our own without the big bucks for advertisement and mass purchasing ability and often offering better quality and a kinder environment.
And while you're shopping the independent businesses or direct sales in home shows I hope you recognize that gleam of appreciation in their eyes when you support and encourage them. Usually, I believe, you will find someone who loves what they're doing, someone who has found that niche that helps describe who they are, someone who cares about the end product or service enough to put that extra effort into the creation, product and follow through.
Recently I purchased 2 purses from what I will call a fabric artist. Her work was true art! I learned something from buying from her and it is something that whenever I have seen it done in the past a little light goes on in my head that I want to remember for my creations and sales. And that is to include the little extras that don't make the product but they make a statement.
So, today I am going down to my craft room and play with paper! I will continue to create what makes me happy and try to always remember to include an added touch that says "Jane". And tomorrow I will go out on "small business Saturday" and shop our local small businesses. Hope you do the same!
And while you're shopping the independent businesses or direct sales in home shows I hope you recognize that gleam of appreciation in their eyes when you support and encourage them. Usually, I believe, you will find someone who loves what they're doing, someone who has found that niche that helps describe who they are, someone who cares about the end product or service enough to put that extra effort into the creation, product and follow through.
Recently I purchased 2 purses from what I will call a fabric artist. Her work was true art! I learned something from buying from her and it is something that whenever I have seen it done in the past a little light goes on in my head that I want to remember for my creations and sales. And that is to include the little extras that don't make the product but they make a statement.
So, today I am going down to my craft room and play with paper! I will continue to create what makes me happy and try to always remember to include an added touch that says "Jane". And tomorrow I will go out on "small business Saturday" and shop our local small businesses. Hope you do the same!
A little creation of mine I thought you might enjoy.
And that is a link to a portion of my own small business if you would like to see more ideas or purchase high quality products to create your own beautiful paper art!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Stampin' frenzy!
What a frenzy of stamping and creating we had last weekend. I held my annual stamp-a-stack classes and pushed my stamping friends almost to the limits of their tenacious little creative minds! Over 4 hours into our "3 hour" class I realized I may have included a bit too much.
However, few dropped and most stayed to finish the very last card, box, tag or snowflake available!
Eazy peazy... I knew they could ;)
This is how the set up looked before frenzy...oh how I wish I had taken an after picture.
Here are a few of the creations!
I tried to keep them relatively simple yet still great. The merry card I'm pretty sure I got the main idea from a pinterest card. Sorry I can't give proper credit but if you recognize it, let me know and I will!
Anyway, of you see something you like and would like to create it yourself, all of the products are Stampin' Up! and can be purchased here:
Thanks for looking!
Friday, November 2, 2012
self imposed chains?
it's something of a contradiction
to say that i am free
when everywhere my mind turns
i sense the shackles chaining me.
lusting after passion
dreaming i am more
leaves me hollow and dejected
more rejected
than before.
by Jane Buchanan 11/2/12
by Jane Buchanan 11/2/12
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
playing with paper!
Oh how I love paper. Actually, for as long as I can remember I have loved paper. Writing paper, journals, cardstock, notebook paper, all kinds of paper.
As a child I loved to color, cut and paste or whatever fun project our art teachers had for us. All the colors and textures. Just looking at a stack of paper made me want to draw or doodle or hoard. Yup, I'm a hoarder. Ooh la la. The secret is out.
And even now, I see a pack of pretty copy paper sitting on the shelf at work and I want to (and have done so...) take a piece of bright pink or orange paper, cut it in pieces and staple it together and make a little book and put it in my pocket. Then it's my private little journal for the day. Sometimes I don't write in it so I will bring it back the next day.
Well, enough of my insanity. Have a look at my fancy folds class creations.
Well, thanks for looking! If you see anything you like and want to try your hand at it yourself, all of the products can be purchased here:
And if you want any instructions on the folds just email or comment! Happy to share!
As a child I loved to color, cut and paste or whatever fun project our art teachers had for us. All the colors and textures. Just looking at a stack of paper made me want to draw or doodle or hoard. Yup, I'm a hoarder. Ooh la la. The secret is out.
And even now, I see a pack of pretty copy paper sitting on the shelf at work and I want to (and have done so...) take a piece of bright pink or orange paper, cut it in pieces and staple it together and make a little book and put it in my pocket. Then it's my private little journal for the day. Sometimes I don't write in it so I will bring it back the next day.
Well, enough of my insanity. Have a look at my fancy folds class creations.
This is a pop-up card. The image is from a stamp set called Owl Occasions stamped on one the of tags Stampin' Up! sells. And the colors are cherry cobbler and gumball green, which are my Christmas go-to's this year. Love these happy colors so much! and the embossing folder is snowburst which adds a nice little touch.
and here's the little pop-up fellow inside.
and this is called a Double Z fold card. It has a beautiful wrap band to slide over it.
And this one is my personal favorite. It's called a side step fold. And we used the Snowmuch Fun stamp set that is super cute.
Well, thanks for looking! If you see anything you like and want to try your hand at it yourself, all of the products can be purchased here:
And if you want any instructions on the folds just email or comment! Happy to share!
Sunday, October 28, 2012
fall is fading fast, too too fast
This time of year I am as bi-polar as the view from my window. One day the trees are putting on a brilliant, ever changing display of the most eye catching wonder. Then the storms slam in and the winds blow without stop and bam. Just bam. Looking out, all I see is far too brown and gray.
Then, just like a snap of your fingers a glimpse of vibrance and magnificence sends my heart soaring again. The ironic thing is, and why I cannot trust my feelings, is the view was there the day before but I couldn't see it. When my heart is gray, what I see is often shrouded.
Today the wind is breezy, the sun is bright, the trees are throwing off their leaves. And I see marigold and burgundy and rust and pumpkin and celery and olive and daffodil and crimson.
The tears of the morning have turned to hope in the evening.
Then, just like a snap of your fingers a glimpse of vibrance and magnificence sends my heart soaring again. The ironic thing is, and why I cannot trust my feelings, is the view was there the day before but I couldn't see it. When my heart is gray, what I see is often shrouded.
Today the wind is breezy, the sun is bright, the trees are throwing off their leaves. And I see marigold and burgundy and rust and pumpkin and celery and olive and daffodil and crimson.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
got those creative wheels spinning!
This week I'm working on some projects for my Christmas stamp a stack class and my open house. So many ideas running through my head! Chipboard and wood-backed scrapbooks, paper treat gift purses and snowman candy bars, to name a few. I get started on one and then distracted by another idea and then hit a road block in the finishing of them. You'd be amazed at all my unfinished projects. Or maybe you have a few of those too.
That's when a good solid deadline comes in handy. I just love a deadline! Both in creativity and cleaning my house. Need to get motivated? Set a date for a workshop or class then tell everyone. Whoa! That'll get me moving. Need to get my house clean? Invite company. You know what I mean, don't you! The last time you dusted your windowsills or cleaned under your sink was when your mother in law was coming. Right? Ha!
That's when a good solid deadline comes in handy. I just love a deadline! Both in creativity and cleaning my house. Need to get motivated? Set a date for a workshop or class then tell everyone. Whoa! That'll get me moving. Need to get my house clean? Invite company. You know what I mean, don't you! The last time you dusted your windowsills or cleaned under your sink was when your mother in law was coming. Right? Ha!
Well, here are a couple of completed cards.
These are made using Stampin' Up! stamps and paper and embellishments.
That's where you can go for your papercrafting needs! AND lots of new ideas.
And next time I'll show you the very very cute cards we did at my fancy folds class last Saturday. You'll love them!
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