not shy

Over the last few months I've been reading about personality types. People are so difficult to understand sometimes, or maybe I just read too much into actions versus words. And introspection comes naturally and frequently for me.

One thing I have discovered is that I am not shy. I have been told that, and hence repeated that, all my life. ALL MY LIFE. Like it is a deficiency. Like it is a faulty characteristic that needs to be changed. Now mind you, I am 56 freaking years old and doing a Myers Briggs personality study.

So, learning that I am an introvert has been somewhat freeing. Only somewhat, because a life time of voices in my head and in my face are difficult to silence. However, a wonderful discovery is that I am not alone. Not a bit. There's lots of us! And lots of introverted personality types that believe they are alone. Un-loveable. Un-likeable. Un-valuable. NOT TRUE!!

Now, I am on the path to convince myself I am created to be just like I am. Purposefully and wonderfully made. Comfortable with being alone. Not just comfortable....but crave it, need it, have to have it. And just as craving and needing to be connected with someone who understands this and LOVES me like I am. 

And I do not like small talk. Trivial chat. Personal, one on one conversations, that's what I enjoy. Parties? So uncomfortable. It's not that I don't want to talk to people.
No wait. It is. Ha!

So, the journey of self discovery never ends. Trying to make it an adventure :)